I spent all day yesterday knitting patiently away. 3 rectangles to go. 2 rectangles to go. By the last few rows of the final rectangle my heart was pounding. The anticipation of actually having a tangible benchmark to have something completed was immense. Around 9, I had finished the final square. I sewed it to the rest of its panel, laid out all three on the floor and stood back. This was it, just as I imagined it would be. Final, and white, in all its glory.

Well, almost. At that time it looked like a toddler's puzzle.

The hand knit blocks look huge compared to the machine knit ones, but don't worry, they do fit together. I have now started the painful process of the 3 inch garter stitch border, made up like a log cabin. So right now, on my poor needles are 6 feet worth of stitches. But it will be so worth it.

26 days.

Today, it feels attainable.

a deeper reflection

"Hearing your comments, I'd like to think I know what I do, but the truth is I don't. There are many considerations and I don't know how to satisfy them all. ... I might decide that you're right, and change everything. Or I might decide that you are right and change nothing. Or I might decide to move down a new path, and create something entirely different from what you've seen." ~ Brenda Dayne

Right now, every fiber of my being is telling me to change nothing. And so shall it be. I know nothing, and admit that readily, but for once in my life I would like to feel proud and confident of what I'm doing, and right now, this is it. Its not a final "I will never do anything like this again" feeling but a "This is what this is supposed to be, and needs to be, and I should not change it" feeling. It will be what it wants to be. I am no more than a maker; I make what the object tells me it wants to be.

I have had Brenda Dayne's podcast Cast On on my list for a while now, but am just finally sitting down to listen to them. This particular episode, entitled "On Gauge" was cast in 2006, and yet it still proves to be as powerful today as it was then.

28 days.

Today, it feels like a heavy weight.

at last, spring

The ever-slowly lightening of the sky between bouts of blustery grey clouds and rain drops, realizing you no longer have to eat dinner in the dark, days hovering around 50 degrees (Fahrenheit, of course), blooming crocuses and cheery daffodils. Yes it's true! Spring is really here!

As wonderful as that sounds, I am afraid I cannot hear the chirp of the robins or sparrows. I cannot enjoy the breeze of sweet Spring. For me, there is only one thing I can hear. The deafening woosh of deadlines as they go whizzing by. I see, think, speak, eat, and breathe only one thing: Senior Thesis.

29 days.

Today it feels like a death sentence.